- š§ Potencia Mind Newsletter
- Posts
- Mentoring Life Hack, Why Gambling Is So Addictive & Dolphin Training Habit Secret (1)
Mentoring Life Hack, Why Gambling Is So Addictive & Dolphin Training Habit Secret (1)
The newsletter which curates & delivers the best mind hacks, mental health tips & high performance strategies to you every single week.
āš LIFE HACK
The Power Of Mentoring & 2 Keys To Shortcutting Success By Learning From Others
Oprah Winfrey was mentored by Maya Angelou & Mark Zuckerberg was mentored, in part, by Steve Jobs...
Throughout history, the philosopher Henry David Thoreau was mentored by Ralph Waldo Emersonā¦
The Italian painter & architect Raphael was mentored by Leonardo Da Vinci who himself was mentored by Andrea del Verrocchio.
Or perhaps the most famous example of mentoring in action...
Socrates mentored Plato who in turn mentored Aristotle who was mentor to none other than Alexander the Great.
The list of historic mentors/mentee relationships (also referred as the the āmasterā & the āapprenticeā) goes on & on...
In fact, an incredibly high percentage of those who have reached a world-class level of knowledge, skill & ability ā as well as use that capacity to create extraordinary works & achieve remarkable results in life ā now & throughout history had mentors to help them get there...
This doesnāt mean you canāt succeed without a mentor (you absolutely can!)ā¦ but research continues to show how positively mentoring (or coaching) impacts learning speed, progress to mastery & results in life.
(And clearly for all the people above, based on their results, as well as their comments in interviews or in their works, the mentoring they received ahead of them was of massive benefit...)
Now, there are 2 keys to getting value from mentoring:
- (a) picking the right mentor(s)
- (b) gaining the greatest proximity to that mentor
Before we cover those, please note that 'mentoring' is not just something for kids...
It's not only kids that need good 'mentors' or 'role models' to look up to... rather, it's something we all need, throughout our entire lives.
If growth is our goal, we always need people who are better than us at certain things who are willing to show us the path ahead (instead us having to waste time figuring it all out on our own!)ā¦
This is one of the biggest secrets to success in work, in your career, in business, as well as at your hobby or craft, in work, in your health & fitness, your relationships, basically all the important areas of your life.
With that in mind, as well as out of the way, here are the 2 keys to getting the most value out of a 'mentor', ācoachā or 'role model' (which again, everybody interested in advancing their life should have, or have many ofā¦)
1. The Right Mentors
One of the mistakes people make initially after hearing about the power of mentoring is picking the wrong mentor(s)...
Nowadays, there are so many people out there who say they are coaches, life coaches or mentors, who ā if you dig a little deeper under the surface ā have little previous success to actually be able to successfully teach upon...
If someone has never achieved something for themselves ā with rare exception ā will they be able to effectively teach it well...
Thatās like a fat person wanting to mentor you about fitness, or a broke person teaching you about finances...
Sure, you don't want to confuse the message with the messenger & they may theoretically understand the right steps to takeā¦
But all in all, itās probably much better to learn from someone who's actually successful at what they are doing already; or at least ahead of where you are currently in this area of your lifeā¦
You want to pick mentor(s) who have ābeen there & done thatā, having achieved that which you want to achieve...
Better yet, find someone who has achieved it repeatedly & consistently...
They havenāt just done it onceā¦ but theyāve done it many times; an even stronger track record.
Lastly, where relevant, you want to pick a mentor whoās achieved in a similar industry, profession or path as you want to head down...
This, once again, makes a huge difference...
If your mentor has achieved their success in an industry, profession, category or even, business model, far outside the path that youāre heading down, their guidance may be misleading (lacking accuracy)..
You want your mentor (or mentors; you can have multiple) to have experience in similar industries, professions, topics & skills to yours...
And when youāve picked a great mentor, understand that there are multiple levels of learning from a mentor...
2 - Proximity Matters
We've narrowed these down to the 4 core layers of āproximityā that arise in a mentor-mentee dynamic.
A mentor from afar
A mentor in range
A mentor in person
A mentor in association
Let's cover these in more detail:
A mentor from afar is someone youāre learning from, from afar...
For example, you might read your mentorās book. Or, watch their video training. Theyāre mentoring you from afar, often through their products or services, rather than in person.
And although this is only surface-level mentoring, it is a form of mentoring. It may be the least effective form of mentoring ā very surface-level ā but, is still valuable...
At first, you may not know (or have the capability) to meet your dream mentor in person, or convince them to mentor you, however, you can always learn from their workā¦ This is the stage where most people start.A 'mentor in range' is the next level. This level, youāre coming into closer proximity with your mentor(s). Youāre not only researching them, studying their work, reading their books or watching their videos from afar, but youāre also going to any events/ meetups theyāre running or youāre working at ā or with ā the companies they run; all with the intention of getting into greater proximity so you can pick up greater nuances that you can use to progress.
A mentor in person; a face-to-face, 1-to-1 type of interaction with your mentor. Youāre not only studying their work, but youāll also receive specific feedback & guidance, from them, tailored to you & your goalsā¦
This may be the result of working beside (or underneath) them in an organization or companyā¦ Or on a personal level, youāre spending time with them like you would with a friend. And, at this level, your mentor is your friend. You know them & they know you.
There are dozens of reasons why this level will give you greater insight than the previous levels, including the personalized guidance, the behind-the-scenes access to them, as well as their friendship.A 'mentor in association' is the highest level. Itās the level you should strive for if you want to be influenced by your mentor at the highest level. At this level, your mentor isnāt just your friend, but a dear friend. Itās also the level where youāre in deep association with your mentor. Thereās no holding back. You receive their best guidance & personalized wisdom as they support you to become great. Youāre actively spending time with them. Often, directly with them; working side-by-side.
And, with each level, your proximity to your mentor (the 2nd key) increases. And just note that...
Proximity matters
When youāre learning from afar, thereās only so much your mentor can influence your learning & skill development...
However, at the highest level (āa mentor in associationā as weāre calling) your mentor is largely influencing & uplifting you to new high levels...
By spending time in-person with your mentor, youāre ā often unknowingly ā making small tweaks to your actions that make you better at what you do...
(similar to the '3 degrees of influence' framework we covered in last week's newsletter ā sure the people in your outer social circle also indirectly influence your behavior but those closest to you influence it most.)
With each level up, youāre learning more & progressing faster at the topic or skill youāre developing...
Your goal is to go up the stages to greater & greater levels of friendship, association & proximity to your mentor.
However, donāt expect to jump to stage 4 (a mentor in association) immediately. It rarely happens that way...
Most of the time, youāll start at 1 of the first 2 stages. And, you may progress up in the futureā¦
As to how; you must find ways to add value to your mentor.
And know that a great mentor is sowed afterā¦ Almost every aspiring film director would love the opportunity to be personally mentored by Steven Spielberg, almost every aspiring magician (or illusionist) would love to be personally mentored by David Copperfield & most aspiring investors would love the opportunity to have Warren Buffett mentor them. Youāre not alone; I assure you that.
Itās why youāll often start on phase 1 or 2. And to progress up, you must find ways that you can add value...
How can you add value to your mentorās life?
Thatās the question you should be focusing on.
Not, āhow can I get this from them?ā, but āwhat can I give?ā
Thatās what will make them want to mentor you in the first place. Bring value & youāll receive value back...
And yes, even the worldās highest achievers still have things that they want, that they would love support with...
It may be a project that theyāre working on that theyāre missing things for, or a dream that they lack resources to achieve...
Or, perhaps, theyāre concerned about their legacy & want someone to carry the torch in the future. You have to find what they want & provide value to get in the door before you can start building a friendship (& moving up)ā¦
And, be humble. Value the learning you get as great compensation. If youāre really committed to world-class skill (mastery) at what you do, be willing to work for free under them if you have to ā to get into closer proximity ā knowing the short-term sacrifice is nothing compared to the long-term upside that will come from their mentoring...
Put self-pride aside & be willing to sacrifice in the short-term for massive long-term upside...
And equally know that, just like any friendship or business relations, you have to start by simply becoming known to your mentor. They have to be aware that you exist first...
It starts there... & beyond that, it takes patience & time to build that association or proximity with your mentor.
Like anything worth doing, it doesnāt happen overnight... It takes time to form that strong mentor-mentee dynamic.
However, the right mentor can massively supercharge your progress making it a very worthwhile effort <-- that's today's first strategy for rapid progress & accelerated success in whatever you do!
Recommended: in the book āSkilled Success: Learn Faster, Train Like The Best & Become Extraordinary At Anything,ā thereās a section dedicated to how to find & learn from mentors to accelerate your path to mastery & success!
More broadly, the book decodes precisely how you can start soaking in new information like a sponge to learn any topic with total easeā¦ develop your skills up to 500% fasterā¦. & become extraordinary at anything!
š QUOTE OF THE WEEK
āIf you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.ā
ā RECOMMENDATION
2x More Amazing Content For Free!
If you havenāt already, we wanted to invite you to join our other, companion newsletter called the:
While this newsletter (youāre reading right now) is focused on helping you to you master your 'mindāā¦
ā¦this companion newsletter (which is also 100% free!) curates & delivers the very best nutritional advice, fitness hacks & holistic health strategies to your inbox every week... to help you master your body.
š§ MIND HACK
The Advanced Strategy For Building Addictive, Indestructible Habits That Last (Used By Casinoās, Dolphin Trainers & More!)
There's a concept known as "variable rewards" & it may just be the secret to building truly unbreakable, indestructible habits that last...
Also known as "intermittent reinforcement"ā¦ itās based on the initial work of B.F. Skinner back in the 1950s, but is just as relevant today as it was back then...
In fact, this 1 concept explains why gambling can be so addictive (even though it makes no logical sense to gamble)...
Or why the lottery continues to bring in so many people (even though, again, it makes no logical sense)...
It's also one of the strategies that dolphin trainers will use to train dolphins to perform tricks...
And again, it's something that we can use as well to develop good habits faster & easier than ever before...
So, let's get into it...
In his lab, Skinner observed that lab miceā¦
āresponded much most to random rewards than they did to consistent rewardsā
The mice would press a lever & sometimes theyād get a small treat, other times a large treat & other times nothing at all...
Unlike the mice that received the same treat every time, the mice that received these "variable rewards" (or "intermittent rewards") ā sometimes small, sometimes big ā seemed to press the lever much more compulsively!
Now, just like the mice in this experiment, we, as human beings, crave predictability & consistency...
You could say that our brain has evolved to help us make sense of the word & to accurately + consistently predict what's about to happen...
^ that's one of our core biological, psychological & emotional needs
Another way of putting this is that we hate not knowing or not being sure of something...
Based on this, when things are, in fact, unpredictable... it's far more mentally & emotionally intoxicating ā it basically forces us to pay close attention & devote energy to whatever is happening!
One way that this is applied really successfully (as mentioned) is dolphin training...
When the dolphin does the trick, they will get a fish for example as a reward...
But sometimes, they'll (randomly) get an entire pile of fish instead (known as a 'jackpot reward')
Recap: the dolphin just did the exact same trick as they've done many times beforeā¦ but now they are rewarded with an entire pile of fish instead of just 1ā¦
"Why?" they must wonder...
They don't know why they got an entire pile of fish this time!
And they also don't know when the next time they will receive another big pile of fish will be... because it's random.
Same with things like gambling or the lottery...
It's the not knowing ā the lack of predictability & consistency ā mixed with the slim chance that you can win really big that together makes these things appealing...
If it was certain or consistent, nobody would do it...
But, because there's strong uncertainty built into it, that's what makes the process addictive...
Now, back to the habit-building process & how you can use this to improve your habits in your own life...
Sure, this is a more of an advanced strategy (vs simpler ones weāve covered in previous newsletters.)
And yes, it'll usually require a little bit more creativity on your part as to how you can apply it...
But it's worth the extra work because, as mentioned, it's really, really powerful!
Here's one example (to inspire you to create your own)...
What you could do is after every workout (or any habit) is you could roll a dice (or something like that, ideally with even more variables!)... & if it lands on a particular number that you select in advance...
On top of everything else, you also can reward yourself with something much bigger ā like going out to a nice dinner, or buying yourself something nice, getting a massage, or whatever reward you select for yourself...
Like the dolphins, every day, you reward yourself with something small...
But, you also have a small (random) chance of something huge ā a big reward!
And because it's based on a dice roll, it's random & not predictable.
That's one example... again, be creative in how you apply this & test it for yourself!
And if you'd like to learn more about precisely which habits it would be worth applying this to ā the 'best of the best' practiced by the world's highest achievers & scientifically-proven to transform the important areas of your life ā be sure to check out our other newsletter all about this called:
In this habit-focused newsletter, we will identify, curate & deliver you a detailed breakdown of these best āhabitsā to help you to transform your health, fitness, mental health, income, relationships with others & happiness in life!
Reply