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- Becoming Fearless, Identity, Backwards Law & How To Win In Life
Becoming Fearless, Identity, Backwards Law & How To Win In Life
Potencia Education
August 14, 2024
The newsletter which curates & delivers the best mind hacks, mental health tips & high performance strategies to you every single week.
š§ FEAR HACK
The Most Fearless Athlete Of All Time & Her Counter-Intuitive Approach To Fear (+ How You Can Apply It To Boost Courage!)
Fear: itās the silent killer that stops us from making bold decisions, taking committed action & achieving our goals!
The good news? It doesnāt have to beā¦
There are various methods & techniques for better dealing with fear, boosting your own courage & getting yourself to do what you might have otherwise been too afraid toā¦
One such technique ā to kickstart this weekās newsletter ā comes from Kristen Ulmerā¦
If you don't know who she isā¦ Kristen Ulmer is considered one of the best, as well as the bravest, most courageous & so-called "fear-less," athletes in historyā¦
She was not only a big mountain skier, but also a ski mountaineer, ice climber, rock climber & paraglider tooā¦
From the late 1990s until the early 2000s, she was voted the "best female extreme skier in the world"ā¦ for 12 years in a row!
Isn't that insane?!
Today, she's one of the leading thought leaders, coaches & experts on the topics of "fear," "anxiety," "flow," & "peak performance" in generalā¦
And now that weāve established her credentials, hereās what she shares when asked about fear & how someone can effectively handle strong emotions (like fear) that come upā¦ (this is her most important advice on this so pay close attention).
"Everyone has the same problem... Not only does the amygdala..."
...which is considered the 'fear' & 'stress' center in our brains ā the amygdala ā responsible for the detection of threat & the activation of appropriate fear-related response; the part of our brain that drives the āfight or flightā response...
"...not only does the amygdala filter all incoming information, most of those filters are set up in early childhood, by experiences that we can barely remember...
The result: we often don't even recognize that the emotion we're feeling is, in fact, fear.
Instead, we misinterpret and redirect it & it shows up as blame, as anger, sadness, or in irrational thoughts & behavior..."
Have you ever had an experience like this?
You snapped & lashed out at others?
Or started blaming something?
Or feeling sad & alone... but then later you realize (or maybe you didn't) that what you were feeling, what was driving your behavior, was actually fear?
For example, maybe you were afraid of what was going to happen...
...but instead of admitting that to yourself, you expressed that emotion in a very different way ā such as through blame, anger, sadness, etc...
Now, here's what Ulmer says about how to start transforming this...
"You have to develop an awareness of your fear. You have to start by noticing fear in the body, the actual kinesthetic sensation. Any form of emotional or even physical discomfort is where you'll find it.
Then, spend some time not focusing on it with your mind, but feeling it in your body - which is very different.
Embrace it, treat it like a friend, ask it what it's trying to tell you.
If you do this, you'll find fear is not nearly as unpleasant as we thought.
It's our attempt to avoid the fear that's so uncomfortable.
But once you actually put your full attention on the sensation of fear, it dissipatesā¦
It's counter-intuitive but this kind of direct attention to bodily sensation actually dissolves the sensation."
Thatās what she advises ^ pretty profound, donāt you think?
Letās dig into a little more & break down this insight into what you can do now or whenever you next experience fear or any other strong emotion that wants to hold you back:
1. Notice & Stop Resisting: Don't fight the emotion, attempt to numb or get rid of it. Just accept its presence & let it exist here for a momentā¦ connecting with the physiological changes it brings in your body (for example, a fast beating heart rate, sweaty palms, etc). Just notice all of these affects in your mind, body & allow them to be there for nowā¦
2. Physiological Awareness: Identify specific sensations ā a tightening stomach, a faster heartbeat ā & note them out loud.
3. Embrace & Inquire: Treat fear as a companion in this quest of life, instead of the enemy. Inquire about its real message; this interaction lessens fear's impact.
This approach aligns with a fundamental principle that resisting, avoiding, or numbing emotions is counterproductive & itās better to accept them (as many spiritual guides recommend also)
Ulmer's technique, "Noticing & Noting," brings us back to basics, acknowledging & understanding emotions at a visceral levelā¦
And by adopting this strategy, we can navigate the complex terrain of our emotions, paving the way for awareness, growth & mastery š
And speaking of fearā¦ if youād like to learn more techniques, methods, processes & how to apply them to get rid of fear, anxiety, be more confident & achieve your goals, be sure to check out the full Potencia course on the topic called:
In this Fear Myth course, you'll learn eye-opening insights, big ideas & transformative frameworks, which will equip you with a whole new understanding of fear, courage, action & what it really takes to achieve your dreams...
You'll also get an entire toolbox full of state-shifting techniques, highly-practical processes, exercises & mechanisms to overcome fear, generate courage (when you need it) & take massive action!
š QUOTE OF THE WEEK
āUnlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man's life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of him selfā
āāš” ADVANCED INSIGHT
'Backwards Law' (Or... The Insight That Helps You Make Smarter Decisions, Better Manage Emotions & Win In Work & Life!)
What we covered earlier in the newsletter about fear actually applies more broadly to all emotions, as well as many situations in life, as we'll cover in this section here...
It's known as the 'Backwards Law', as popularized by the philosopher, Alan Watts...
He put it this way:
"The more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place".
And, in the hit personal growth book by Mark Manson released in 2016, Mark referred to this as the "Feedback Loop from hell" & explained that...
āThe desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of oneās negative experience is itself a positive experienceā
Now, this may sound a little confusing...
And it is, to start with; as we're diving into the strange, quirky yet marvelous inner workings of our brain here...
So what's the solution?
Well, for all emotions, not just fear, the solution is the same as what we covered at the start of this newsletter. Acceptance over resistance.
(Or, as Carl Jung put it: 'what you resist, persists')
You have to get comfortable allowing emotions to be there ā instead of fighting them ā at which point they, paradoxically, stop being there.
As to the reason we're doing a 2nd feature on this, it's because it applies more broadly...
With most things in life, more intent/effort = better results...
This makes sense, it's easy to understand...
Work harder at something & you achieve more...
Put in more effort & you get better results, very logical...
But there are also other things ā like emotions ā where the 'Backwards Law' prevailed & the opposite becomes try...
The harder you try, the worse the result (like in the fear for example, the less you tell yourself not to be afraid & attempt to push fear away, the more afraid you become.)
And the more effort you put it, the worse things get...
Here are some examples from everyday life:
In dating: the more someone wants to be loved, the more desperate they seem & therefore, the less likely they are to attract love... meanwhile, the less that they seek it & the more they enjoy time with themselves, paradoxically, the more likely they are to attract love into their lifeā¦
In business, in sales, in negotiation... the same thing applies!
The advice we're offered here is "you should negotiate with one foot out the door" - which basically just means, don't show much you want itā¦
You should be willing to walk out (either physically, or more likely, mentally & emotionally) of the negotiation at any momentā¦
Because, the less interest you generally show, the more negotiating power you tend to haveā¦ & the more likely you are to get the things you want.
This is paradoxical because the less you care whether you get something or not, the more favorable terms you'll likely get (compared to if you were basically begging for something to happen!)
Now, in both cases 'don't care' or don't be desperate' doesn't really work either...
So your best option is to first create more options which in turn make it natural for you to be less desperate/care less, at which point you get better results.
And more broadly, it's first about recognizing whether more effort brings you better results or if the 'Backwards Law' applies where less is actually more & you have to take different stepsā¦
^ it's this level of intentionality & foresight that can set you apart from everyone else & help you thrive no matter the situation š
š FEATURED COURSE
If youād like to learn how exactly creativity works & how you can become a lot more creative in both your work & lifeā¦
ā¦then be sure to check out this amazing creativity course, called:
āCreativity Unleashed: How To Tune Into Inspiration, Effortlessly Generate Brilliant Ideas & Become An Unstoppable Creative Forceā
Who is this course for?
Well, if you've ever wished you could be more creative... to be able to generate brilliant ideas & churn out genius work that wows others (transforming your career, finances, as well as the positive impact you have on the world as a result)...
ā¦then āyesā, this new creativity course is for you!
It'll teach you eye-opening insights, frameworks & life-changing understandings that'll change how you think about creativity, work, innovation & success forever!
(as well as scientifically-proven, practical steps & strategies to consistently tune into inspiration, call in aha-moments & generate brilliant, creative work ā even if you don't believe you're particularly creative, or insightful right now!)
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